BO~RA~OT.
POSTED AT 01:56 PM

elenahitomi

ang boring na, walang magawa, wala pang nangyaring maganda, lang kwentang buhay, kakasawa, same old trash, kakabagot, kakainis, kakasakal, nakakabanas, so kaka..

"Lahat kayo masaya, ganon lang talaga." Currently listening to: Greener with the Scenery
Currently watching: The Last of the Mohicans
Currently feeling: BURAOT

More in MemLane!
POSTED AT 07:51 PM

elenahitomi

Nakita ng ateh ko yung high school notebook ko tapos andon yung class picture ng 4-N. Awwww dem! Namimiss ko sila!!!! My Ateneo friends, dem.. Brings back old memories hahaha! Sana this summer makita ko sila, like, get together or somtthing like we used to do. (^_^) Miss ko na kayo! (^_^)/

Nag Yahoo Archive din ako kanina e. Pansamantalang kaligayahan lang naramdaman ko tas nabanas na ako, natangahan ako sa mga pinagsasasabi don. Pawang katangahan. So.. Yehey.

Wow kakasabi lang ng mom ko na hanggang 9 lang daw ako, kasi sayang raw sa electricity. Tumaas raw yung electricity bill namin. Awww... Pero .. Takas na lang ako. E kung sa bored ako. Ahehehe joke. OwelTowel.

Hehe.

_________
11:25pm
_________

Lalalala sarap isigaw habang nakatayo sa bundok.. "ANG BULOK TLGA! Corny, baduy, kadiri, bano.." as in literal a. Wow.

Hehe. Ngayon.. chat magdamag, inintay ko si keet (hehe sorry keet i lied, i really waited for you.. nyehehe) aun chka babad lang. tas nagka reunion pa sa iv3, confe. saya sobrah. wow ingay.

tapos.... mejo pagod na utak ko kaya't... Aun ngayon nga dapat nagsasaya ako sa Atrium kaso aun next time na lang. Well I hope they're having a blast there. Gudlak sa Hibiscus.

Nyt. "BULOK! KORNE! Nakaw boring." sleeping time. nyt keet. nyt iv3. Currently listening to: Circa Survive (yeye best band before apc.)
Currently feeling: nothing

GETS KO NA ! ! ! !
POSTED AT 12:57 AM

elenahitomi

Click on the PLAY button to listen to
Taking Back Sunday - The Union

Wow, bago ako matulog, gusto kong i-type to. Sobrang,sobrang, nung nakahiga ako at nag-isip ng mga maraaaaming mga "tots" kasama na yugn mga iba pang gathered.. "tots" ey TUMPAK! Sobrang parang nakuha ko na ang kasagutan! HAHAHAHA God DOES exist noh? At sana tama lang naman yung hunches ko.HINDI HUNCH. Tama na talaga to. La ng atrasan. Haaay jusko. Parang yung hinanakit ko ay bigla na lang nawala, parang mancha sa labada, bglang nalinis ng TIDE BAR o di kaya e SURF. Corny. BASTA! Ang saya, sobrang napapangiti ako sa kama ko kanina, nagmuka na akong ewan. Pero sobrang saya. Alam ko na, alam ko na talaga. ALAM KO NA SOBRA ANG SAYAaaaaAAA aaa !

Super Boink salamat ! ! ! ! ! ! ! (^_^) Narealize ko na savior ka sakin. Nyehehe o diba ma touch ka na. Libre mo na ako. Joke. Salamat talaga. Basta pagpatuloy mo lang yung so-called "trabaho" mo. JOke nde pala work, "Hobby" Ehehehehehehe SAYA TALAGA! NAGLAHO yung problema ko! Wow sawakas nasagot na. Cge yun lang folks. Goodnight!

( -_-)zzZ ::::sound asleep!

Currently listening to: Circa Survive
Currently feeling: relieved and anxious

Rain !
POSTED AT 07:26 PM

elenahitomi

Kasama ko si Cara at Isobel Funk and cambria.. ay company pala (haha..) sa St. Paul Pasig, may Family Fest practice (la akong ginawa..) Anyway nako bondgin to da max. Balak pa nga anman gumimik some time para masaya. Utang ko sa kanila: Pakilala ko sila sa mga kakilala kong mga guys. Baka sa U ko na sila papuntahin, maraming tao don. Ahaha ! Dont worry girls, pasado kayo sa mga puntos ng mga tao don NEKENE AHAHAHAHA tama ba yun? Parang ang saklap e. HAHAHA !

Umulan kanina. Ba... Umuulan pala.. Joke lang. Nga pala, Sunday na ngayon, meaning, Monday na bukas. AND YOU KNOW what that means, to me.... FREAKIN CLEARANCE DAY MEN ! HOHOHOHOHO ! Patay na. Hindi pala.. MABUHAY! PASADO AKO! Sana nga sana. Hay hay, puso ko hindi mapakali hahaha ! Nde nga kung alam nyo lang tlga kung gaano ako ka kabado.

Saya ko. Masaya ako since nung "Light Bulb" realization ko kaninang umaga bago matulog. Sobrang sobrang WOW! Hindi pa rin ako mapakali. Well mejo masaya, as in kunti na lang mas sasaya pa ako ahaha labo. Bastaaaaaa.. Sayaaaaaaaa. Currently listening to: Handshakes at Sunrise
Currently feeling: green

pa-SAaaaH-doohh AKO! *Hu!* Pa-sAaHH-DooHh AKO! *HU!* WAHOOOOOOWW
POSTED AT 07:26 PM

elenahitomi

NAAAAAAPAKAAAAA saya saya saya saya saya koW! Uhm well.. Naincomplete ako sa Light and Color (hindi namin alam kung bakit, dapat hindi kasi nagsubmit ako ng LAHAT ng plates.. pero.. di bale.... isang incomplete lang yon, wala tayong problema jan.. anyway.....)

NAKA ~ PASA ~ AKO! WHOOOOOOOOO !! ! ! ! ! !!!

"To pull them in, MAKE THEM seem like your in trouble! Make a seen, MAKE IT ENOUGH! What made you so scared... When you're mistaken for someone who cares...." WHOOOO ! Papakanta na ako dito! Hehe..

Kungkaya't nagrejoice kami mga Pasado at Bagsak sa Rob Place Ermita. Yung ibang may bagsak, nalungkot ng todo kaya't umuwi na lang.

Len: O pano na ang alep?
Joey: Wala na yun..?
Len: Nakow basta tuluy!
Gian: (Tameme..)
Joey: E pano yan, wala na ngang problema si Mico tapos si Karl naman problema?
Len: Basta kung gusto naman talaga, basta Time Management, okay na yun, kaya..
Gian: Onga.
Joey: O basta bahala na (Some parts cannot be displayed here due to ewan ewan..)

WAHUUUUUUUU ANYWAY!!

Well concern ko na lang ang aking perfectionist parents. Pero basta ako ang saya ko. Binigyan pa talaga ako ng second chance ni God. Wow. Nahihiya na nga ako sa Diyos e. Lagi na niya akong pinagbibigyan, tapos inaabuso ko pa minsan. Haaay.

Now in the more "Nicey nice, quite interesting things..".... Nung nasa Jeep ako papuntang UST (Morning..), una kong narinig ang "Deep" na kanta ni Binocular. Nagulat ako kasi paborito ko yun e, pinapakinggan ko yun dati nung high school, ngayon hindi na mashado dahil sa mga ehmoh-ehmoh na musika.. So natuwa ako. Tapos.. Nung nasa National bookstore ako (afternoon na..) Tumitingin ng mga Fantasy books, pinatugtog yung "Deep" ni Binocular, Again! Parang, napatameme na ako sa lugar ko. "Okay a pangalawang beses na." Feeling ko parang "sign" na dapat meron akong dapat alalahanin na importanteng nangyari sa buhay ko. Pero ngayon pag iniisip ko, hindi ko ma pin-point. Basta anyway.. I'm gonna dl the song after this. I gotta listen to that soothing song. Whoo! BRings back memories of who i was..

Pinatugtug din pala sa jeep nung umaga yung "Crawling" ng Linking Park (HAHA I mean LinkiN w/o the G, Park.). HAHAHAHAHA this may sound silly but I used to love this band (1st year-2nd year hs..) HAHAHA tas crush na crush ko pa si Bennington HALA! Hanggang ngayon gusto ko ang Hybrid Theory nila na album. Yung ibang album e parang mejo tabinge e. Yoko. HOKAY CGE PAGTAWANAN NYO NA AKO! Hehehe. Kanya kanya lang..

Tapooooss. Tapos na. Dem, kinwento ko sa dad at sis ko yung clearance. Kapikon kasi anlungkot nila. Parang tingin nila yung INC e bagsak. "HINDI BAGSAK YON! PASADO AKO! HELLER!!! HINDI AKO MA IIREG!!!!!!" (Pero kahit na raw, bumaba raw grado ko.) FINE! Hehe. Ohwell towel, e sumablay ng kaunti e. HIhi!

P.S. Yikes, pasensha na hyper mode. Tsk tsk nakakahiya ako. (>_<)!

P.P.S. German..y. Hala ! Currently listening to: Act Appalled
Currently feeling: YAHUUUUUUU WHAA ! GRBEH!!

What's next then?
POSTED AT 11:40 PM

elenahitomi

Oh well now that I have fair to good grades, I guess I can go out. Also, I'll be reading books here. After finishing "The Hobbit" by the ever 'idol' Tolkien, I'll be reading a greek story called "The Iliad" by Homer. I fancy mythology so much. Then after I finish THAT, well, it's either I'll tell my uncle to buy me some fantasy books or go to my stash and look for some old books. Yey.

What's next then in.. My life? I dunno, maybe roaming around elsewhere and be free with no care in the world. I'm 19 now so I guess I feel like doing something different. Stay friendly etc. Band.. Hmm.. I'm still gonna try my best to make it "live" kasi hindi ako papayag na mawala yon. Magkatanggalan ng miyembro, pero tatag pa rin. Sayang e.

Well why is it that sometimes God gives and God takes away? THAT's because not everything lasts forever. And it'll keep on coming like a thief in the night.

Talked to him a couple o' hours ago, and it was all good (well I always say 'it's all good' I dunno why..) It's funny coz I got to be carefree again, while chatting with him. That's good. Everything's going normally just like what I wanted. Never wanted to feel least bit of "pressured" like before (mga novemner onwards nung nagkagulo ang utak.. ko..). Right after the realization thingy, I felt so much better (Or do I really feel 100% better? 99.95 rather? No one's perfect..) Hehe. Ergh.. Now I'm feeling sleepy. Yung oras na kasi e hahahaha! May lakad pa pala ako sa GReenhills bukas! Sos..

Bumaba na dad ko. WHOOOOOO ! "Yes dad akyat na ako HEHEHE" (ay nag bathroom lang pala sha ..)

Night to the world! Pray for Pope for his safe journey to heaven. Hehe.... (^_^)
Currently listening to: Circa Survive
Currently feeling: sleepy

ByeBye Pope! (T_T)
POSTED AT 07:00 PM

elenahitomi

Right now I am watching CNN, Live telecast of Pope's mass before he'll be buried. It's so sad and joyful at the same time. Sad, coz he won't be with me and us all, and I'll be alone again. But happy, coz, he's with the Almighty Father in the Heavenly Mariapolis. So either way, I feel a sudden mix of emotion. So I decided to light a candle coz even if I'm here at home and not in the Vatican, I and my family are paying pur respects and showing our utmost love to The Great Pope of this millenium.

Hmm. Yeah, some may notice that I don't get to be online (I'm speaking in behalf of the Yahoo Messenger Society of Chat.. HaHa !) Well there are two things. One is because I'm enjoying Animax so much, it's just like a dream come true. HaHa! And second, well, I don't know if I'd have Internet for the next two months. Unless some "miracle" will happen and my dad's gonna give me a hundred bucks for mere relaxation spree. Tough times, and we're then again in the brink of 'the' so-called "financial problem". And I mean THE BRINK, THE EDGE OF THE CLIFF. If my dad doesn't get a job this summer, well then my sleeping in the streets would soon come true.

That's why I've been praying the rosary lately. I prayed for my dad, most especially. I prayed for the Pope as well that He may have a safe journey to the depths of the universe. I prayed for my friends, too, who had their exams this week. I requested that they'd pass their exams as long as they deserve it, and may they have the strength to go on in their lives, to be strong and have unconditional faith forever. And through that, they'll live in ubber happiness.

Hmmmm...

Seryoso ko noh? Chareng!! Haha!

It's not too long till I cut my hair short. I'm gonna trim away these split ends and maybe bring back my bangs. I also wish that I'd be able to buy a purple die, so once and for all, I would have PURPLE HAIR underneath. Errr. I'm growing impatient. HAHAHA! Anyway, will I be able to go out? It seems that the Financial Problems in my family urges me NOT to go out. Oh well, towel. Bahala na, e kung sa gusto ko nga namang lumabas e noh?

Aww. I actually cried after the mass especially when I saw the Great Pope's simple wooden coffin for the last time. Sigh*. God bless us all.

Ingat kayo! (^_^)v Currently listening to: Circa Survive
Currently feeling: in mourning..

"he's just not that into you"
POSTED AT 09:59 PM

elenahitomi

I GOTTA HAVE THIS BOOK. (Referred to me by Super Boink and her dear friend. SALAMAT! Sigh*

doubts mean a whopping NO.

ahahahaha hahahaha ahaha ahahahahaha hahahahahahahaha and for ALL this time I was yet again reminded of my ubber stupidity. Yeah alam ko na siya dati, mas nalaman ko pa ngayon kung bakit siya ganon, kung bakit niya ginagawa yun. kung bakit siya nagsasalita ng mga ganun. kung bakit bakit bakit. ehehehehe sana kung "Truthful" lang lahat ng tao, mas magiging malaya yung tao. Kesa yung walang sinasabi at nakukulong lang sa isang so-called jail-cell. e diba? anong mas maganda? ahahahahaha.. ahaha.. ahahahaha.. hahahahahaha...... hmm..... hehe hay nako. mashado lang ata akong mabait diba? ahahahahahahahaha ! ahaha! ahahahaha! ahaha! haha! ahaha..... haaay. (~_~)! Currently feeling: sad

You make me wanna LaLa !
POSTED AT 12:35 AM

elenahitomi

keet, para sayo tong pic haha!

kamuka mo yung pusang mataba e! Sobrah! Kahit kumilos parang ikaw hahahaha! Pangalan ata "Bao-Miyaw"! Nako sana mapanood mo tong Anime na to. "UFO Baby" ang tawag.



Anyway, buti na lang lately, pag naguguluhan ako sa sarili ko, agen, may dumarating ng "CHING" na nagki-clear out sa mga doubts ko etc. Oo tama lang yun. Kasi dati ni sagot sa tanong wala e. Hehe! CHING!

Kanina lang maganda yugn CHING na nasaisip ko:

be there for that person na lang. that's the best you can do. set aside all worries coz it'll be more complicated. do your thing as a friend and be there for that person. Now how fun is that?

o dba? "CHING!" good morning!

Plus: sa taong iyon. Ang swerte mo! Kasi may mabait kang frend HAHA joke. Kapalan muks na ba ito? Basta walang iwanan a! Nyahahaha ayus! Andito lang ako kapagka may kelangan ka. NYAHA hala Uhm chaka, okay lang ako dito, masaya naman ako sa buhay kaya kaw rin, tawa ka lang ng tawa HAHA chaka aun! Nyehehehe ganda neto a..

P.S. See ya in a week or two! (hmm online that is..) Currently listening to: Circa Survive
Currently feeling: conent

Seven years, you assured me I'd be fine if I complied......
POSTED AT 07:38 AM

elenahitomi

YaY!

Finally, my hair's short! Nagpa layered ako, so it looks quote nice pagka na blow dry talaga and all. Sabi nga ng mom ko "Wow! Parang model ni Dondoy!!" Hahahaha! Well, saturday, sunday, I looked awfully GORGEOUS ahahahaha ! Basta. Nyehehehe. If only My friends could see my Hair Salon look. Oh well, I just hope I could maintain the same hairstyle kahit nabasa na siya ng tubig and all. Nyehehehe.

Oh great. I was supposed to go out on a thursday and a friday, e kaso.. May lakad ako family. Practice kasi may concert thingy sa Enares Antipolo sa sabado. It's kind of a Big thing, really. Called a "Family Fest" and it's an international concert. ma li-Link up ba naman kami sa 113 countries all over the world. Tapos sina Sting kasama pa and Celine Dion. Hmmmmmmmm... It's quite hard to explain actually. AHAHAHA! But anyway that's that, and argh! Nyahaha nde ako makapunta sa lakad ko (T_T). Oh well Towel. Meron pang infamous Next Time. Sigh* Here's the Family Fest site, try clicking at the link. NOW! Joke lang. Eto. http://www.familyfest2005.org

Lastly, hinulaan ko sarili ko kagabi. It's wonderful to realize na gumagaling na ako sa paghuhula ehehehe. Saya nga e. Ilang ulit akong naghula sa, hmm, dalawang bagay. E puro love life AHAHAHA ! Mali pala. More on "Ano na gagawin ko?" kinda thing. Yeah "Kinda Thang!" Hala! Nyehehehehe.

Oh... So much to talk about pero na mental block naman di ha! Gi atot man gyud! AHAHAHAHA! Lalala! Hmm sana makalabas na ako this week! (>_<) Currently listening to: Circa Survive
Currently feeling: sleepy

Well it's Love, make it hurt...
POSTED AT 01:15 AM

elenahitomi

Gising pa ako at wala pang bumababa. Thank you. Sana walang bumaba para jumingle o kung ano man kasi ayoko ng masita. Ehehe. Anyway (darn I can hear the TV upstairs, are they still friggin awake?) Anyway!

Do you know that I spent more than 2 hours, or maybe 1 or so hours typing this new Short Story? Well I hope it's not corny even though I have a feeling that it is. But anyway, I have more coming up so I'll post the address kung pwede nyo ng i view! SO far tapos na yung isa pero baka bukas ko na lang i post.

Galing a! May mga online pa pala! Well actually I kind of anticipated that. Mas marami sa madaling araw kesa sa umaga. Or talagang mere coincidence lang talaga e noh? Etong si Peachy naman, naabutan ko pang online, nagpapraktis ng gitara. Sabi raw niya hindi raw siya magaling. O sha sige! Ahaha! Gudlak na lang sa praktis ng Forfeit mamayang 1-2, or 2-3 Gudlak sa tugtugan sa 16 !

And as for me, hmm. Sleep mode again and who knows when I'll be online again. Till then! Wish you all a happy summer!
Currently listening to: Tori Amos - A Sorta Fairytale
Currently feeling: sleepy

...that you can't feel something for me.
POSTED AT 11:32 PM

elenahitomi

Nakaka internet na rin ako e noh? Pero pasaglit saglit lang. Make the most out of it nalang.

Madalas na rin ako nakakalabas. Nung Tuesday at Thursday, tumambay lang ako sa Transound para manood ng praktis. Ahaha! Okay naman basta makalabas lang, masaya na. Chaka pag makipag-usap lang sa mga friends ko, uki na kahit padaplis daplis na usapan. Huki lang! Dapat nga bukas (saturday..) nood ako gig nila.Hay nasakto pa sa lakad ko. Sayang talaga. Oh well towel meron pang next time e noh? Uki lang!

Goodluck sa Forfeit the Trial!

Lastly, sigh* Sana masaya lang siya. Well uhhhhhh lam ko na masaya na siya. Nakapasa na siya (good, good..) at wala na siyang problema. Summer na, makakaliwaliw na siya. He deserves it. So best of luck na lang sa kanya. Ayun! Sigh*

At sa lahat na rin! hahaha

Hindi lang naman ako "jahe" e noh?

Hmmm.. How I sometimes wish that makakilala na ulit ako ng bagong lalaki para magbagong problema na ulit ako. este bagong buhay.. mali.. bagong pag-asa. ay mali. wala! ..

sana hindi na ako umiyak ulit.

past three days umiiyak ako e. hindi ko alam kung bakit. ever experienced that? saya saya mo sa labas, tas pagdating mo sa bahay, ang lungkut lungkut mo, tas minsan parang bigla ka na lang maiiyak out of no reason. Tapos pagka iyak mo, lahat na ng mga unsolved problems mo ay dumating at nag clotter up sa head mo? Well ayun.

sana hindi ako umiyak ulit. coz i'm moving on...

Currently listening to: The Early November
Currently feeling: sad

You are worth much more than this...
POSTED AT 02:23 AM

elenahitomi

Yeah never felt better, never felt slightly better.

And now that the Family Fest is over, it's not yet over. Haha! Love Builds Peace. Hehehehe. Yeah I'm too tired -slash- lazy to type all the nice details from practices to the event itself.

Sigh* I really need a breather now. I need to go out with my friends again and breathe the "friendly" air. It's 2:17am here and my family's still up. Wow. Saya. As in hindi pa kami inaantok talaga. HAHAHA! Weird..

( -_-) la la la la la kalimutan, kalimutan. Pano ba makalimot? Joke.

Pagakyat ko sa kwarto, naandon bigla yung dalawang class pics niya sa table ko. E alam kong hindi ko naman nilabas yun e. O tas tinitigan ko pa. Tanga nanaman. Ay.. Hehehehehe. Ayoko na ngang nabo-bored e, naiisip ko lang siya. I can't be busy all the time, so, malas. I want to keep myself busy! Yon. Dahil ako'y purga. At antok na ako ahaha!

Mawala ka na! Poof*! Poof*! Shoo! Go away! Sagabal ! Sagabal! Nyehehehe... Ayus. Umalis ka na, friends lang tayo . Hala. O-A nanaman e noh? Parang siya pa yung may kasalanan.. Walang alam yun sa mga kondi kondisyon.. Nde nga e, ako and salarin. Ako. Ako yun, ang dakilang praning at lokaret. Bow. Whee! ( >_<)

Antok na e. Bzzzzzz..... Tomorrow's a semi normal day yet again and again and again (by day, by day, by day.. Surf..) Hala ang corny nakakainis na! Nyehehehehehehe.

( -_-)zzZ Currently listening to: Family Fest 2005 cd
Currently feeling: discontent

May A.D.D. ako.
POSTED AT 12:28 PM

elenahitomi

Nakapanood ako sa EWTN ng "Living in His Abundant Life" tas ang pinag-usapan dun ay Attention Deficit Disorder or A.D.D., isang malfunction sa brain na hindi naman siya sign of stupidity or something, pero gift. Pero kung iniisip nyo na special child ako, mauupakan ko talaga kayo kasi hindi ako special. Special in a more talented unique kind of way na iba sa talagang "special" child. O basta yon.

Top Symptoms of A.D.D.:

1) Deppression (laging nagwo-worry, malungkot, moody)
2) Anxiety (procastinating, nagwoworry sa hindi pa nagyayari, fear)
3) Restlessness/Hyperactiveness
4) Impulsiveness (pagiging impatient..)
---> others I forgot. Darn!

Kung meron man kayo ng LAHAT ng ito, tiyak may A.D.D. kayo. Usually ang A.D.D. raw ay yung mga taong highly talented pero hindi lang maka-Focus masyado. Example. Magaling ako sa drawing, pero hindi ako marunong mag-Organize ng time ko. Kalat schedule ko. Wala akong sense of time kung minsan. Usually raw ganon ang A.D.D. Maraming factors talaga ang A.D.D. kung sana mas confident ako sa facts. Naniniwala ako kasi na marami akong friends na may A.D.D. at kung iniisip ng nakararami na wala ng cure ay nagkakamali kayo! Ahahaha! Kasi sobrang hindi siya cancer na wala ng cure. MERONG CURE. Yun nga lang hindi ako confident sa facts. Pagka nakakuha na ako ng sapat na information, talagang ipo-post ko talaga. Sarap i-share nitong information na ito kasi marami sa'ting mga Filipinos ang hindi alam ang A.D.D. or they have heard of A.D.D. but think it's some incurable sickness and think that people who have this are weird and stupid.

Sigh* I have A.D.D. hahahaha ! Kaya pala ako iba.

I'll try to elaborate in just a few statements...
POSTED AT 07:07 PM

elenahitomi

offline, ive been doing nothing. TV? Yes, anime. Animax to be exact. It was fun. I could feel the world of anime succumb into my whole system and i can feel im being transported into Anime Land. Yes where space and time are awesome and magic is inevitable and cute anime guys are plain handsome. Kyuzo! Nyehe! Kyuzo the great samurai. Hala!

today felt really bored. everybody left me here in this lonely home. i was forced to buy 60 pesos internet (Goody there is free hours..) and now im online typing this crazy entry. earlier, hve been reading 2 journals and will read one more. its fun to read. my eyes pop once in a while. yey. next week ill be leaving my home to go to a mall first. go to some house to practice. and go to some other house to swim. and practice my drums. and fool around like some abnoxious radical swine.

yey.

have i elaborated all my thoughts into robotic statements? yes i sure did.

yesterday i felt dead. my mind was dead. it's possible. i felt it. staring at one corner, just staring. thinking of nothing. then you feel nothing. you don't feel any compassion and love at all. you just feel like a ghost in a shell. i wanted to .. what's this.. let all the warm emotions come back but last night, i just couldn't. some kind of anti-emo barrier shielded my humane self of some sort. it was odd.

darn! this is now a long entry! what a drag! hehehe! then again.

Currently listening to: Circa Survive

Time takes its toll on us (this changes everything..)
POSTED AT 01:06 AM

elenahitomi

Things I'm planning to do for the week (more or less)

1) take care of a plant. (using monggo seeds for faster growing results.) Coz I wanna nurture something, like a child when it slowly grows up, you see it's development HAHAHA! What a drag!

2) read more fun books. got this "Shaping of Middle Earth" (too tired of reading The Hobbit. Maybe next time..)

3) meet up my bandmates (operation Plan B!) yes and we hope we can finish the compo on or before May 3. Why? Because... Wala naman, tugtug lang naman kami sa Freedom Bar lang naman at apat lang kami pero sakto lang kakayanin. Mwehehehehe ! KAYA !

4) practice in iso's house. yes. they have a drumset. i need to destroy something, and not my precious left thigh. You see, I don't have a drumset, and I use the "Air drums" method. And I also use my thigh as a snare drum. So just imagine the nice feeling. Yey.

5) Not get bored.

singing singing...

i feel empty again. Dahhhhrnit ! blink blink : : Currently feeling: sad

Screaming in the misteaching of a metaphor
POSTED AT 12:00 AM

elenahitomi

So far so good. May nagawa, but not enough... Kitakits ang banda kanina kina joey at nagsimula ng magcompo. Good thing merong accomplishment: Nakatapos ng isang kompo, forgot nga lang the title. Kinda funky nga ng tunog e. Emo Funk nga e. HAHAHA hay nako. Wish ko lang nde magtutunog bano pag nagpraktis kami sa Transound sa sabado. Not enough nga lang kasi, shempre nag aadjust kami mejo. Lalo na sa mga previous cover namen. Wala kasi si Karl e. Nakakamiss tuluy. Pero inisip ko kelangan to. Nde rin muna dapat kami umasa sa kanya at kelangan isaalang alang yung kapakanan ng banda kung gusto tlga namin mabuhay to. So goodluck samin! Alam ko at naniniwala ako, makakatugutg kami sa May 3 na walang sablay at maayos. Yes.

Hmm....

Bukas labas ako kasama sina Iso at Cara (oy special mention, langya kayo! joke..) E nung una nga nahihiya pa ako kay Cara kasi parang ang abala ng mga stuff. Ayun sana mag enjoy sila. Ako kasi tlga ang nagyaya e. Tas ayun. Gusto rin nila. Tas basta sorry shux nde ko makwento ng maayos hahaha! Anyway bottom line sana mag enjoy sila. Mag enjoy kami. Hehe!

Wow matutulog ako ng maaga! 12 or so! Haha maaga ba yon? Wow maaga na pala yon. Nyehehe. Cge.
Currently feeling: mellow

You're my fairweather friend...
POSTED AT 12:50 AM

elenahitomi

Yes I can sense that this will be all about “Cara, Iso, and Len” entry. Wheeeee!

Little bit of Current Events before the main topic..
Yes I can sense… Prices are goin up coz the oil’s goin up. And my mom tells me this country’s going down. What do you expect? People are getting angry already, so it won’t be a surprise if a revolution will occur and it’ll be Martial law again for all I know. God Bless Us All. Our friendly tip for All Filipinos: Save money. That’s it. Just friggin save money.

Oh yeah! Yesterday I went to g4 and met up with Cara & Iso (hala bold letters..) Ang saya! I never thought that they’d actually enjoy the trip. I thought they’d get bored or something but, well, I forgot, Ka-lebel at ka wavelength ko nga pala sila! Kaya ayon! Ambababaw nga namin e! Pero dun nga enjoy e! I showed them “U” in Rustans in G4. Then we went to Red Lane to buy some stuff. Then bought some coolers in Jollibee THEN went back to “U” then went home. Ayus na kami dun! At gusto naming uliten HAHAHAHA ! Wheeeeeeee!

Hay nako hanggang kelan kami magkakasama e noh? I know time changes, but, I had fun right this moment. That… I got to be with Cara and Iso. HALA

Nubanamantonglekatnakadramahanblusamputskinanginangito! BWAHAHAHA !

Anuba operation bonding na ito! Haha tapos pareho pang Focolare! Tas magkaberks pa ating gma magulang! AYOS! Kinda like the ideal friendships e noh? DEBA? WAHAHAHA nakakavaliw! Sa uuliten mga “Funcy friends” Dapat tawag satin pag nagkakasama tayong tatlo e

FUNCY PANSIT

Bwahahaha! Ang corny nakakaasar hahahaha!

…And yes I had fun. 75 or so %. Now how about the remaining percent? Hmm... Now why can't happiness be all..... perfect?

P.S. Keet? TANGINA MO! Naiyak ako sa latest journal mo gaga ka! Galing mo magsulat forever. Shyet sana mabasa nya langya sha at dapat MAIYAK SHA! MAIYAK SHAAAA! Nyehehehehe ! Nde nga langya. WHOOOO heavy shit.. Ganda non...... ( -_-)

I just realized keet na mas matapang ka pa sa'kin. ( -_-) Currently listening to: Traklist para sa sawi
Currently feeling: sleepy

Another useless "sigh*"...
POSTED AT 01:39 AM

elenahitomi

I was watching anime and I heard the word that I haven't heard for a long time.

Umme

It is "Fate" in japanese. I loved the word when I would watch Tenkuu No Escaflowne. And yes the same word occurred to me while watching a different one. I didn't know why, but then I was just, amazed that I heard it again. "Umme..." Love how they say it.

And yes, I'll be 25% like Keet. I'll try my best to be as honest to my feelings as possible. Now after viewing all the possible hopeful wishful signs etc, yes I am constantly reminded that I should just fucking back off. Keet, when I read your journal, I felt happy for you that you seem okay. And I was trying to do the same thing. But I guess I'm not in that stage yet. I'm still in a rut, avoiding the truth I guess. Coz I'm afraid of the truth, I'm afraid I'll get hurt. Again. And again. But I'm hurting right now, coz yes, I'm suppressing all these feelings inside me. I become a walking wuss, a seemingly ghost in a spoiled filthy shell. And though beauty can be seen through my smile, it's just not the same. Coz I'm thinking, I'm thinking that I'm constantly worrying. And yes I am blabbing away once more. I just realized a few more realizations (Accounts can be such a big factor in one's pathetic life... What a shame that men invented such a site. Talk about social life from hell... Accounts..... I feel like deleting my account right this instant. It's not doing me any good anymore. What's the point?)

I envy you on little things, Keet. I maybe wrong but then again I got to think of myself more. How pathetic my life is right now. And I don't know if I'll ever recover. Well these thoughts are just for this moment, It will be forgotten and be changed into fancy hilarious reactions. But.... Let others read when time will pass and wish for their anti-laugh policy. I.... Am so fed up. Confused. Yes, my rune can be confusing so I'm just darn...... Wow.... Hindi ko nanaman alam.

And then... When I'd get to talk to him soon, everything will just...... Vanish...... Like all the worries will disintegrate.

Sigh*

To him. Yeah... You're the most blurry person I've ever met in my entire life. Though my friend told me the reason why I find you transluscent is because I... felt something more than just mere friendship. And yes here I am denying to death that I had feelings coz I know it'll just be put to waste. NO! I already know it WILL be put into waste. It's a one sided thing in the first place. Oh yes. In this time, the situation has become one-sided. If I could tell you right smack in the face that I really hate you for being who you are, how would you react? And how will you treat me then afterwards? You're an elegant specimen who knows how to patch up things. You say nice things to me so that I'd feel better. You say those things which you think makes me better. But I guess I've figured out that it makes me more confused. And since it's not only me in the life of yours, I'm so fucked up confused about whether you're talking to me or to her? Buuut I guess you're talking to "her". Why.... Someone told me that a person won't let go of someone he cares about. He'd do his best not to lose that person. I don't think he did any "keeping me in his life" routine! I don't evern know if his mind's all made up? Well I just HOPE that "she" will accept his proposal of ever, whenever. Coz I'd be just so shitty dissappointed. She has all the guts and glory in the world and she's got everyting and there she goes make someone lonely again and again. SIgh* Sometimes I envy her. What does she have that I don't? . . .

Sigh*

Earlier, I was looking at his picture and my picture and I was trying to figure out if it looked great when the two images were beside each other. And yes.... I thought it was cute. But when I think about it further, hindi yata kami talo. It's odd, you see. I got bored at home without internet so here I am looking at silly pictures and hoping still for oblivious dreams.

Tsk tsk. This is way too long.

Do I love you? Yes I think I do. And now this reality... Just saying this will haunt me forever.

Sigh*

He reads this stuff too, you know. Yeah you! if you get to read this, just forget you ever read it. Hahahaha ! Nah you won't care. By now you're all fulfilled in your lovelife and have recieved the grand prize of Two-sided love. Oh yes. Congratulations. Sorry if I keep on pressuming. I'm to fed up wondering about the truth. I'm too scared to even ask you personally coz I don't want to make a fool out of myself. Yes I'm full of pride and shit. Yes I'm a coward. So I'll just leave it at that. Currently feeling: sad. very sad.

Yes!
POSTED AT 06:23 PM

elenahitomi

It's official!

Sawi nanaman ako! Wheeee!

pero masaya ako. Atleast alam ko na. Sawakas. Wheeee! (^_^)v

Taking on.. Seven months....
Seven dates for me and Seven sheets and tear on!
Seven months you assured me....

Tara keet, pati ako na rin pala. Tara celebrate na tayo!

(^_^)
yey!

Salamat sinagot mo na. Nahihiya kasi ako magtanong e kaya buti nalang. Wheee!

Natatawa ako.... Kasi.. Ako nga lang ang nag-iisip na "confusing" ang mga nangyayari. Masyado lang yata akong bored sa lahat. Wawa naman ako. Ayoko na nga rin muna siyang kausapin. Makita? Hindi maiiwasan na hindi ko makikita yon. Baka rin mapadalas ang alis ko. Hmm hindi ko alam kung pano ako kikilos. Plastikan na lang din siguro. Jan naman magaling ang lahat e.

Whew! Duwag talaga ako. E kung ayaw ko e dahil ayokong mapahiya. Len tanga mo naman yan tuloy! E kung sa duwag ako e. (La.. kausap sarili......) Tsktsktsk now you see how pathetic I can be.

Kung mabalik lang sa dati. Time changes.... Dem.

Me A Pathetic Coward.