Entries for July, 2005
July 13th, 2005
"Science Fiction" POSTED AT 07:01 PM My friends watched a movie earlier. I couldn't help but feel jealous. Yesterday I asked them that I wanted to watch a movie. Then they told me they had some school work to do. Then I jst found out that they didn't tell me they had plans to go out. Now what was that all about? I felt like KARMA was invading my poor wretched humane self. But HAHAHA I guess I should just ignore it. I know I love the attention. But you know what... I can't have all the things... It's really hard to live a life and NOT being alone. And it's easy to be alone. But you don't want to be alone forever, right? So you decide not to be alon. But it's hard NOT to, coz you have to cope up with different species with different brain activities, and not to mention, varied consumptions of oxymoronic "blooba" point of views. I'm an impatient weirdo. I admit. And I tell you all that I have this slight difficulty coping up with my current kada. Oh what should I do? And as for love.... It's been quite some time since I pured out my love-struck anxieties and problematic, emo-ish tantrums. Now, to tell you the truth, I'm still pretty much fed up with all the shit that's been going on. So I'm still inching my way to find some peice of happiness. Even for just a moment, I'd feel happy and content with someone, or some thing! Hahahaha. And I still think my life is uber pathetic in it's overall toil and filth. Oh and by the way, I am really looking forward to see him again! Hahahahahaha whatever, Len. Oh and by the way, freakin' study first! Haha ! ( ^_^) Currently listening to: RUFIO Currently feeling: nautious,sleepy,irritated 2 ang sumagot...SA
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July 16th, 2005
Another Little Hole POSTED AT 02:11 PM Ako ay nadidismaya.. Ano ang dapat kong gawin? I guess my study habits haven't improved a bit. I've improved and did something, but it wasn't enough. Almost all of my plates and excercises, they're all 70%. I got a 50% for this one excercise coz I wasn't able to finish it. I gave the prof an incomplete mock up model. Yes I got lazy at that time. And lately I've been lazy. And before when I wasn't in college yet, I was lazy. Lazy, lazy, lazy. And I don't know what to do. Yes, I should NOT be lazy. But I just feel so hopeless, like I can't even move. How am I going to stand up and even have a better life? I've made so many mistakes, SO MANY. And I don't want to repeat it all again. I just want to be happy. But I guess true happiness is found in risking and getting tired and sacrificing. Now I've come to see that true happiness is the most painful thing I could ever bare. I said True Happiness, and not just Happiness. Sigh. Right now I feel scared to even do my school work. What am I scared about? Am I scared of getting tired? Am I scared that all the things that I'll do would just be put into waste? Yes I'm awfully scared. And I've always been. All these anxieties choke me momentously, consistently like phlegm in the throat. Sigh* I've always been scared. Scared, scared, scared. My life, is hanging. Dear God, do atone for my mistakes, every single one of them. Currently listening to: Aqualung Currently feeling: devastated |
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Brighter than Sunshine. POSTED AT 11:50 PM Do I think about you, again, because moments of the past swarms like a gushing water in a stream? It keeps on coming now, every minute. Do I let these thoughts linger on or does all the thoughts linger in my head by itself? (like it doesn't even ask me whether I want to think about it or not...) Do I just... All of a sudden... Deliberately... Miss you. ?I close my eyes for a second, hoping that when I do open them, I'd think of another thing. Buuuut I guess I have to close my eyes for a couple more hours so that when morning comes, I'll be sure that it WOULD be, WILL be, a different story. Now I think that this isn't right at all. Yes it isn't! So Len... Stop thinking about it. "Go read a book or draw lines." Currently listening to: Aqualung Currently feeling: dazed |
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July 18th, 2005
POSTED AT 09:11 PM rap_skater (7:49:35 PM): eh wag kang magagalit sa akin? rap_skater (7:49:41 PM): kasi may sinabi ako sknya eh rap_skater (7:49:41 PM):  rap_skater (7:49:52 PM): ok lng? flip_goth58 (7:50:02 PM): may sinabi ka kanino, .........? rap_skater (7:50:11 PM): oo flip_goth58 (7:50:16 PM): bwahaha cge ayus lang. rap_skater (7:50:17 PM): pero ndi deretso flip_goth58 (7:50:22 PM): sabihin mo na rin sakin rap_skater (7:50:23 PM): patanong lng ung pagsabi ko flip_goth58 (7:50:28 PM): bwahahaha flip_goth58 (7:50:35 PM): basta go straight to the point ka na rap_skater (7:51:02 PM): tinanong ko kasi rap_skater (7:51:02 PM): PANO rap_skater (7:51:04 PM): kung nalaman nya rap_skater (7:51:04 PM): na rap_skater (7:51:04 PM): iniyakan mo sya rap_skater (7:51:04 PM): :D rap_skater (7:51:12 PM): sory po!!! flip_goth58 (7:51:30 PM):  ) ayus lang pramisrap_skater (7:51:35 PM): eh flip_goth58 (7:51:38 PM): gusto ko malaman nya rap_skater (7:51:38 PM): sory flip_goth58 (7:51:42 PM): ayus lang haahahahaha flip_goth58 (7:51:52 PM): so ayun bahala na sha kung ma TO sha or what hahaha rap_skater (7:52:01 PM): ndi sha na to eh rap_skater (7:52:13 PM): ndi nga lng sya nakaimik flip_goth58 (7:52:17 PM): ahhhh flip_goth58 (7:52:19 PM): e ganon din yun flip_goth58 (7:52:21 PM): bwahahahah! rap_skater (7:52:27 PM): ndi yun rap_skater (7:52:38 PM): tpos tnanong ko pa kung may pag asa ka rap_skater (7:52:42 PM): :D flip_goth58 (7:52:46 PM): tapos sabi nya wala flip_goth58 (7:52:48 PM): hahahahaha shmpre flip_goth58 (7:52:50 PM): lam ko na yan rap_skater (7:53:13 PM): meron rap_skater (7:53:13 PM): nmn rap_skater (7:53:14 PM): daw flip_goth58 (7:53:58 PM): o tapos.. flip_goth58 (7:54:06 PM): e kung may pagasa ako, bat di sha na text? rap_skater (7:54:30 PM): bkt tinitxt mo ba?? flip_goth58 (7:55:13 PM): nde flip_goth58 (7:55:24 PM): hahahaha pero dati nung tinetext ko parang wala namang dating e flip_goth58 (7:55:30 PM): parang inde sha interesado rap_skater (7:56:03 PM): gnun lng un rap_skater (7:56:08 PM): kasi intersado pa sha sa iba rap_skater (7:56:14 PM): malay mo pagkatapos nun flip_goth58 (7:56:36 PM): anong malay malay? flip_goth58 (7:56:47 PM): hahahaha flip_goth58 (7:56:58 PM): cno ba tlga kasi mahal nya? flip_goth58 (7:57:02 PM): yun lang naman yun e flip_goth58 (7:57:13 PM): basta ako, kung may mahal na sha, hindi na ako makikisingit rap_skater (7:57:47 PM): un ang ndi ko sure flip_goth58 (7:58:00 PM): anong di mo sure? yun na nga e flip_goth58 (7:58:18 PM): soooo well thank you na lang ....... na may pagasa ako, pero cge, mahalin na lang nya yung soulmate nya. rap_skater (7:58:49 PM): drama nmn neto flip_goth58 (7:59:08 PM): =)) flip_goth58 (7:59:10 PM): uy di ako galit flip_goth58 (7:59:15 PM): nde pero.... lam mo yun.. flip_goth58 (7:59:23 PM): pasensha na. kung alam mo lang kasi napagdaanan ko lately ......... Currently feeling: pissed; confused |
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July 19th, 2005
POSTED AT 08:22 PM - They are TOTALLY straight forward. >>>> When they like a girl, they just friggin SAY it without hesitation. "I like you. Let's go out." and the girl says "So.. It's a date!". Like, it is just a normal vocabulary. But here? NOOOOOOO! I would have to frikkingggg figure the damn thing out coz the guy doesn't frikkin SAY anything! He leaves these stupid clues and actions, then I would have to put the friggin puzzle pieces together. AND Hello! WHAT IN THE WORLD! Is my life just so twisted? But okay. I guess....... And I think... And I'm gonna say this nasty thing.. That I should just FUCKING get used to the fucked up crazy shit that's happening, ever since, about my love life.. I mean it's better that guys here are so "manhed" and all than straight forward coz they just want to have sex..... I mean, think about it. Though it's a very satisfying thing....... HAHAHAHAHAHA. Never mind! I'm not saying anything more. So anyway. FINALLY I was able to enjoy my PE class earlier, 3-5. Coz it didn't rain, so meaning YEHEY time and WOWOWEE time and plain "GAGU" time. Kicking the soccer ball. WHEW! And OH YEAH! this GUY, this guy who constantly rings a bell, is my classmate in PE! Hmmm, should I still say "Yehey"? Coz it was just A-Okay but not really OKAY coz he freaks me out. Coz when I see him, I get all tingly, still. AND I HATE IT! I don't want to get all tingly anymore! WHAT FOR? TO GET HURT? WHY WHY WHY! WHY ARE MEN SOOOOOOO..... SOOOOOOO.... Stupid. YEAH YOU'RE ALL STUPID! HAHAHAH YOU HEAR THAT? STUPID! BOBO! EWAN! WATAK ANG UTAK! YEYEYEYEYE! Hahahahahaha ! Sigh* I should go back to school-o-school. This stress is killing me. Yeah and goodluck to our practice tomorrow. Crap. Hehehehe kidding. I love ALEP so much. I love them so much, it's easier to love them more than those moronic specimens that I have to FRIGGIN PUT UP WITH! I'm so ever friggin tired of the same TAE!!! "I got out of there coz I didn't want to fall in love. I was so scared, so scared that you would hurt me." P.S. Awww this movie is SOoo sweet. Freaks me out in a bad and good way. Awwwwww. P.P.S. Sniff sniff. I miss my grandma Nona so much. I hope you're watching us here. This movie's getting on my nerves! Hahahaha! Sigh* ( ^_^) |
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July 23rd, 2005
POSTED AT 10:56 PM I'm watching a Mandy Moore film again, it's a movie na napanood ko 2 years ago pa yata (nag post pa nga ako ng movie review tungkol dun, dito mismo sa blog.) ..... Anyway... For the 2nd and enth time, I feel so affected and "bloody-hinge" pissed yet sourly "can relate" to what the character, Anna Foster, is feeling. I SO wanted to cry. I feel like I'm journeying to the abyss, the abyss of my life. P.S. Chasing Liberty yung title ng Movie! ( ^_^) |
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July 30th, 2005
Sumuka nanaman akong muli! POSTED AT 12:27 PM After school, Pugko, Rap, Irvin invited me like they usually do to drink at 1611 Bar, P.Noval. It's my second time there, but my first time to drink (lagi kasing puno.. aww..) Eni, here I go again, drinking on an emtpy stomach. And so, malamang talagang matatamaan ako. And then also the reason why I "appear" SO wasted is because, remember, I didn't have any sleep, right? So isa pa yun. And then, lastly, I didn't eat lunch. WaPoW! Euck-Euck TiMe! ( ^~^)( ^_^) wHew! Grabeh. It was a nice experience.. I had this sort-of "enigmatic-cool" crush on this guy. He's from CFAD and a higher batch. I see him around when I do "IsoY-mode" outside. And for some odd instance, I don't mind him coz there are a majority of dogyots/dugyots in CFAD so I'm just having the attitude of merely "getting used to such people". Any, somehow I got attracted to him yesterday and maybe I was drunk and all. He's so "gwapo". When he smiles, he's like an innocent child. And his eyes were so glaring and his nose is high-bridged (tangos ang ilong..) He had shoulder-length hair na traight, nakabukas ang PoLo nya with black shirt underneath. HoT! His face is like, mistiso pero sobrang tan-nog-nog look na ang gwapo. Makes me sigh... But OFKORSss! I didn't show any sign of affection.. He's so Gwapito. I know he has a band and is already popular, Daisy Singko ata sha e Emo na banda..... But I'm really not sure. Hahahaha. But anyway, you know, that's just a crush... Coz I've got lots and lots of crushes and admirers from 1st year to higher batches, but their just crushes that won't come. So it's just all for the sake of "keeping an open mind" and simply having fun while I still can.. HeHe.. Life has been pretty tough especially when I think about Love in the sense of "relation" and "next level". So I guess I'm just getting all carefree. I need some different kind of happiness to break all the anxiety and fear and sadness. Drama ampode! ( ^_^) ANG DAMI KO PANG HAHABULIN! HaaaaYYYY! Grabehan! ( >_<) Kaya! ( ^_^) P.S. Darn, there would be times when I would REALLY REALLY WANT to go back to Online Gaming. Ugh! Yung mga RPG crap na yan, or kahit ano. DEMMMM!!! ( ~_^) Currently listening to: anime songs. (anti-emo to avoid depression) Currently watching: Tenku no Escaflowne Currently feeling: dreamy |
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